What Is Commitment

Does commitment come when you say you are committed? Does commitment come when you think you are committed? How do you know you are committed? Is it just a feeling or just something you decide?

I attended a wedding this weekend and allowed myself to dive into what commitment is for me. So I took a glance at my life. I have been married to my husband for 15 years next month. We have been together for 19+ years. There have been many times when I was ready to leave the marriage and I know that my husband has felt the same upon occasion. So how have we made it through the last 15+ years without walking away? How has commitment shown up? Besides the obvious we are still together it has taken many times of truly choosing and acting upon staying married. We have consciously made a choice everyday to remain married. When times have been hard and circumstances have been difficult we each have made the choice in the moment to work through what ever challenges have come to pass. We have loved and hated each other through the rough times and still remained committed.

I use to come from a place that if I could make my husband mad and he left me then he would leave me on my terms! I would challenge his love and faith by pissing him off so he would leave while I was in control. He would just tell me that he married me for life and he is not going anywhere so I might as well knock it of. Trust me I tested that also. I will give than a lot of credit when it comes to commitment. He has taught me great lessons. Now mind you my husband is not perfect. Oh and neither am I! Yet we remain married in spite of ourselves.

What actions have we taken to be committed to this marriage? We have given each other space when needed. The space to cool off and rethink our circumstance. We have looked at ourselves and how we have reacted to what ever has come before us. We have sought out counselors to get us through some of the really rough times. We have re-chosen to our marriage at least a million times and will continue to do so. Every five years we get married again. We send out invitation, have a vow exchange and renew our commitment to each other. People ask me why we renew our vows ever five years and I tell them this. When we first married I knew just enough about him and was willing to marry him for what I knew about him up to that point. Every time renew I am vowing to accept what I now know about him. As we grow together and learn more about each other we can now say that I will marry you for all the weaknesses and strengths that have come to surface in the last five years. It is an opportunity to heal from the challenges and reward ourselves for the successes. I now desire the long term commitment with my husband and I have stopped testing him on leaving me. I enjoy being around him more and love to go just about anywhere with him. Our commitment has not only grown our marriage it has continued to grow our business. We have been in business together for over 15 years and it has been the actions that we have taken that continues to keep that business moving forward.

Commitment without action is just like a hope, wish and want. It is something we desire yet are afraid or lazy to take action on. Just waiting for life to happen around us and hoping we will survive is not very rewarding.

Commitment with action is work and perseverance. You will usually learn a lot about yourself in the process and will most likely be rewarded for your courage to take it on. Actions can be big or small and still it is a step with forward momentum. Commitment with action has a lot to do with people following you as well. The saying “do as I say not as I do! “ Those are the words probably of a lazy, non action person. I have found that when I am acting on my commitments people want to do the same. I am a leader and a follower of greater leaders. So be a leader of excellence and keep acting on your strengths and challenging your weaknesses until they become strengths.

Mind you all action steps may not seem like successes. However if you are willing to really look at the ones that were not successful and learn the lesson they have to offer then you will find a small success there too.

What are you committed to take action on? What actions will you take for yourself? Whether it is a job, a relationship, a goal for yourself or a dream what will you take action on today? What will you end the day with? A notice of action or a day when you felt like you did not make much difference because you chose to just wait for life to happen or you took action to create your life? Which one will feel better for you? I am choosing to take my life to the next level and with that I will continue to take actions in life. My desire is that you will join me and create the life you desire and be committed to yourself by taking actions for you!