Have You Ever Lost Your Confidence?

Has there been a time in your life where you had things moving right along and you felt content with your life and business? While everything was going along smoothly you became a little relaxed and just went along with what was happening around you? I can say that I have been at that place many times in my personal and business life. Everything seemed to be moving forward, things felt like they were in a good place and I was comfortable in what was going on around me.

Then whack out of the blue something happens. Your clients file bankruptcy, you are fired from a job, a terminal illness is discovered in a family member, a sudden death of a loved one, divorce, rape or sexual assault occurs. You get knocked off your confidence. Suddenly the calm comfortable world you had been living in takes a turn for the worse. There does not feel like a quick ending to what just happened. You may have found yourself paralyzed from what had just happened.

When you get your confidence kicked out of you by life what do you do to bring it back? How long does it take you to breathe back in some wind after it is knocked out of you?

I have experienced many breath taking kicks along the way. I have experienced many confident damaging events in my life and yet I have found the tools necessary to get back up and breathe. Have you experienced events in your life that have knocked out the confidence for a short or long while? What were some of those events for you? Are you in one of those times right now?

I have found that when I have gotten in one of these circumstances at first I freeze. I go inward and want to shut out the whole world. I will get the necessary obligations done but have no feeling attached to what I am doing. While I am in this state I am searching in my brain what I could have done different and what I could have done to prevent this circumstances from happening. Anyone else out there like me? Get stuck in the “what I could have, should have done”! Not like I can do anything about the past however I know this is what I have done. This usually will get me into a cycle of blame shame and guilt for what I didn’t do so well. After a time, I have to find myself out of that hole and start to rebuild my confidence. This is done a lot quicker when I talk with those people I have as my support. When a hand is reached out to me I take it and get myself going a lot faster than if I were to try to do it alone.

I have heard from many people whom have shared that I inspire them and they look up to me. People have made comments about my positive attitude and my confidence. I appreciate each and every reminder from those around me. I feel like I am no different from any other person who gets back up when they have been knocked down. I work consistently to get back up on the horse that bucked me off and take the reins and ride again. I have never gone it alone even when I have felt alone. There has always been someone in my life, be it God, parents, spouse, siblings, friends, children and even strangers. Someone has reminded me to get up and get going. Who has been in your life that has kept you going when it has been difficult?

Here are a few tips I have learned along the way:

1. Keep Breathing – It takes a lot of deep cleansing breaths to get through the biggest challenges.

2. Notice What Happened - Do what you can to notice and not avoid what has happened in your life. Be aware of what you were doing and how you reacted. This helps to put it all into perspective.

3. Check Your Feelings – What are you feeling about the circumstance? For yourself and for any others that may be involved. Be honest about your feeling do not try to hide them or bury them.

4. Ask What You Can Control – What about this situation can you control? Then take action on those things. If you cannot control it then let the negative energy go from it. Do what you can and keep yourself moving forward.

5. Rebuild Your Confidence - Take every step possible to get confident again. Be with positive people, talk about your strengths, surround yourself with the good things in life, do something that inspires you or do something that scares you so you can get the excitement back in your life.

Your confidence is always there! It just may be hiding behind a tree waiting to see how you protect it. It may be afraid to come out and play again however you are the only one who can teach it to play again. Those things that knocked you down are the same things that have knocked down thousands of other people in the world. You are not alone! Ask yourself how they may have gotten through it or get in a group with others who have survived the same circumstance and learn to thrive through it.

When you get through those challenges you end up being a person that inspires others. People will see you as the person they want to be like.

Come on you can do it, I believe in you! Bring your confidence back out and play. Be like the person you admire most and learn from your circumstance so you can help someone else get up quicker too.