Do You Limit Your Power?

The only limits of power are in the boundaries of our beliefs. Our beliefs are the most powerful leading forces that effect our behaviour and leadership. The statement "You change you life when you change your mind" is saying when you shift your beliefs you are likely to shift your life.

Your beliefs either empower you and push you forward or they hold your back in life and take away your power.

What really is a belief and how did we come about them? A belief is something that we accepted to be true or real. Now we may not know for certain that it is true we just believe that it is and therefore we have formed our belief system. We mentally accept that it is true and then carry on in our daily habits that it is true. We build confidence around the belief in the truth as we know it and we can even convince others in our belief as well. We will base our experiences around our beliefs.

Think about some of the beliefs that others have convinced us of because they were confident in their belief. "Men should be at work not at home with the kids." "Women are not reliable CEO's because they should focus on their family." How about this one "Women should not be vice president" or "Black men should not be president". One of those two beliefs is about to shift. One way or another we will have a black president or a woman vice president. What about our traditions? How we celebrate traditions in our family are they conscious or are they a subconscious beliefs. Do you celebrate Thanksgiving the same way your parents did? How about Christmas? Did you adjust to share beliefs with your spouse? Did you create your own traditions? Will your kids do it your way because you tell them this is the way it is to be done?

Today how about assessing your beliefs and ask yourself if your beliefs are from your parents, community, education, religion or your very own. Ask yourself some conscious questions.
Do my beliefs empower me or do they limit me from moving forward?
Do my beliefs support me in risk taking?
Do my beliefs support my family in moving forward?
Do my beliefs allow me to enjoy the work I do?

Now that you have started asking and assessing your beliefs is it time to make a shift in your life? Transform what you once believed to be true to the possibility that you could view your belief a little different. Maybe not so much confidence in the belief yet more confidence in you empowering new possibilities in your life.

The four areas of our lives to create balance in are Physical, Mental, Emotional and Financial. So how are you prepared to transform your life in these areas?

Are you physically fit to manage transformation? Do you exercise regularly? Do you get enough sleep? Do you eat a healthy diet that gives you steady energy?

Are you mentally fit to manage transformation? Do you routinely sharpen your mental skills? Do you learn new things in business and personally? Are you open to new ideas? Do you get involved with discussions in business and in your community?

Are you emotionally fit to manage transformation? Do you continually work on cleaning up the past hurts? Do you get clear with relationships that you still have energy with? Do you heal the wounds of your past where you felt hurt? Do you let negative remarks beat you down or do you let them be feedback and look to see if it would serve you to make a shift or not.

Are you financially fit to manage transformation? Are you living paycheck to paycheck or above your means? Are you enjoying your job or business or do you dread going to work everyday? Could shifting how you look at work improve your paycheck? Do you have money in savings? Are you tithing?

Transforming your consciousness around your beliefs is the first step to making shifts in your life. When you focus on your belief "Shift Happens"!

Are you ready to make some shifts?

(Note: The word Transformation creates a sense of moving forward and excitement in life. The word Change creates a sense or hard, dread and resistance.)

Are you ready to transform your beliefs and use your power in making choices that will move you forward?

Am I Comparing Myself Fairly?

Do I compare myself fairly with others? I find I am frequently comparing myself to others. Not smart enough, not skinny enough, not strong enough, not talented enough, not relaxing enough, not disciplined enough, not brave enough and so on and so on!

Are you caught in this cycle of Not Enough? I am successful and powerful! I have accomplished many things in life as well as many lessons. I have moved up in business and have some wonderful personal relationships. Yet I still sometimes go to the not enough thoughts.

The question I would put out is this "What scale are you measuring yourself on?". Are you comparing yourself to a hope of perfection? Are your successes rarely enjoyed? Do you constantly have the drive that you must do or be better? Do you see something that you did not do well as a failure and then focus on that?

If I have given 100 percent of my skill and knowledge to a project and when it is complete I look back and see where I could have done things differently how do I treat myself? I can look back and decide that the job I did was only 97% worth and the 3% is what I would focus on as not enough.

Have I allowed the influence of others to determine who I am or "should" be? Have I allowed my parents limited skill, my family, spouse, community and culture define who I am?
Am I allowing things I heard in my youth and interpreted in my youth create a negative effect on me now in my adulthood? How are you doing in this area?

Now is the time to start comparing myself fairly! The next time we get in the mood to compare lets stop and see what scale we are using. When you are feeling like you are not enough ask what scale are you using. The perfection scale that does not really exist?

Start listing your achievements and compare them to others who are the same age, gender, social background and culture. Are you comparing your physical beauty to someone else that does not live in your body or your life style? Write down the differences. Notice the similarities and differences for yourself. Notice the negative comparisons you place on yourself and how much energy you put on worrying about them. If you were to release that energy and put it somewhere more productive where would you put it? In your relationships with your spouse, kids, friends or at work, your business? How about positively on yourself? How do you hold back the real you from playing full out because you do not see yourself as enough?

Some things to think about and journal on could be:
• Is it possible to accept myself and treat myself in a lovingly and compassionately, regardless of my accomplishments or lack of accomplishments?
• When did I decide I was not enough and why?
• Do I need to be outstanding, special or unique?
• Am I looking to prove something? And if so who?
• Why does failing at something transform me into being a failure?
• What would my life be like with a fair comparison?
• Can I be satisfied with progress, not perfection?

Final thought: Did you know that the composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart by th age of 12 was more successful by any standard in music composition. Mozart spoke 15 languages and had composed numerous major pieces of music, including an opera. He was still a child! I would not want to compare myself to that!

How Coachable Am I?

Considering a business or personal coach?
The first question for you to ask yourself is. . . "How Coachable Am I?"
Are you really ready to ask this question of yourself?
Do you wonder how receptive you might be to coaching?

If you 're open and available to coaching you can be relied upon to take coaching seriously.
To be coachable you will believe this is the right time to accept coaching.
You tell the truth to yourself and are willing to challenge your self-defeating beliefs.
Being coachable means you are willing to do the work and let the coach do the coaching.
People who are coachable keep their word without struggling or sabotaging.
Coachable people experiment new ideas that the coach chooses for me.
A person who is coachable can express what they need or expect.
Sees coaching as a worthwhile investment in their life.
Is humble enough to share the credit for their success with the coach.

Knowing all of this are you "Coachable"?

The bonus is you can learn to be more coachable as you are being coached. Do not be alarmed and think you are not coachable if you do not see yourself in all of the statements above. As you allow yourself to be coached you will gain more ability to be receptive and open to coaching.

The greatest gift we can give ourselves is to allow ourselves to learn more about what challenges us and take action to be better at those challenges. Having a coach can support you with what challenges you. Allowing yourself to see through the eyes of someone who may see your challenge as a success tool for you.

Find a coach who will support you, hold you accountable and wants you to be a success. The best coach is a coach who has shown success in their life and business. Somene who walks the talk. Research and ask questions about the coach you are looking to hire. Then make a decision that would serve you in reaching your goals and dreams.

Contact Be A Legacy to see the successes they have had in business, personal relationships and their community.

September Legacy Foundation Day

Septembers Legacy Foundation Recipeint is the Women's Center of San Joaquin County.

Be A Legacy creates awareness with Legacy Foundation Day.

Legacy Foundation Day is an opportunity for you to receive a 30 minute coaching session for free. In turn, we ask you to make a contribution of $30.00 (or more, it's up to you) to the cause, organization, or individual we've chosen each month that we support because they are also making a huge difference in the world.
We choose to model how simple it is to walk the talk, take a stand, and do something for another. And we invite you to join us.

Here's how it works.
• Every month we'll highlight on our blog the month's charitable focus.
• You complete the 'Give to Receive' form on the Be A Legacy website to request your 30-minute coaching session.
• After receiving your form, you will be contacted by one of our Be A Legacy coaches to schedule your session.
• Your session must be scheduled within one week of your request.• After the session, please make your donation. Simple honor system applies.

Here is some information on the Women's Center:

For more than three decades, the Women's Center has been the lifeline to help and hope for thousands of women, children, and men in San Joaquin County, and now reaches over 30,000 individuals each year. The Center is the sole certified provider of services for victims of domestic violence and sexual assault in San Joaquin County, and operates the only undisclosed emergency shelters for battered women and their children.

The agency also provides prevention education and community outreach to numerous local schools, businesses and organizations, to prevent more people from becoming victims and to help stop the violence.

The Women's Center is driven by its mission to provide a wide range of supportive, educational and crisis intervention services to victims of domestic violence and sexual assault, enabling them to regain control of their lives.

Mission
To provide a wide range of supportive, educational, and crisis intervention services to victims of domestic violence and sexual assault, enabling them to regain control of their lives.

Vision
The founding and continued vision of the Women’s Center of San Joaquin County includes:
A community where women can share ideas and feelings, examine their role in society, and learn to bring about change.
An environment conducive to growth and self-empowerment where women can teach and learn skills important for dealing with a changing world, and further community cross-cultural understanding.
A forum where women’s issues and concerns can be brought before the public.
A place where women, men , and children in need can find supportive services.
A catalyst for change pursuing societal goals of equity and self worth, working to insure the provision of quality services, community education, and new programs for women and children.

Goals
The Women's Center's goals are to serve and empower victims, raise awareness about domestic violence and sexual assault, dispel myths and misconceptions, and reduce violence in our communities. Ultimately, our goal is to eliminate domestic violence and sexual assault, but we work to ensure that our services are available as long as there is a need.

Mentoring Yourself

Mentoring yourself is another great tool. Do you know that it doesn't really matter how others see you as much as it matters how you see yourself?

Other people might be able to look at you and share that they can see your greatnesses. They can truly believe that you are compassionate, powerful, courageous and more. The challenge arises when you do not believe these qualities for yourself. Letting go of many opportunities because you say to yourself "they are not talking to me" or "I will let you know if I see anyone like the customer you are looking for". Are you looking inside yourself to see it that opportunity is for you?

What qualities are you going to commit to awakening every moment?
If you are not willing to acknowledge your qualities then you are not likely going to achieve your potential in life. Making it almost impossible to achieve your goals and dreams. Today is the day to mentor yourself. Mentor your old beliefs and transform them into a powerful voice inside of you that serves you moving forward. Awakening a quality to serve you and practice everyday until you are transformed into believing in it.

How are you going to mentor yourself so you are coming out a winner everyday?

Mentoring yourself takes effort and consistency. Your ability to do this begins and ends with your mentality. Your mind set is to be about serving your purpose and moving forward in life. What will you choose to tell yourself everyday? If you have negative self talk then notice that it is not moving you forward. Putting away the hammer and choosing to take action to mentor you can shift future generations.

As you mentor yourself you create space to mentor others. When you enjoy you then people enjoy being around you. Every contact with another human is an opportunity for a "Mentor Moment". How many "Mentor Moments" are you going to create today?

Mentee -Are you willing to ask for a Mentor?

Who is a mentee? A mentee is a person that wants to further his/her career and/or social development. Signs that the person wants to progress are statements/questions such as: "I would like to make more friends.", "My teachers thinks that I can get better grades.", "I would like to get a better job.", "How can I get a promotion?", "How do I get on the basketball team?", "I want to go to college.", "I would like a better relationship with my kids or spouse. "
"I'd like to make more money in my network markting business. What do I have to do to make it happen?"

It is very difficult to help someone who does not see the need for help. You can suggest to someone that he/she can do better in a particular area, but the individual must appreciate and accept the need for change. They must see the value in creating a shift.

Mentees must have trust and respect for the mentor. Mentees must realize that the success of the relationship is up to them and they are responsible for the actions they take. Mentee's must take responsibility for their own development. Finally, the mentee must value the role of a mentor in achieving these objectives.

Maintaining the Mentoring Relationship with the Mentee

A key element in maintaining a good working relationship with your mentee is to ensure that he / she is responsible for his / her own development. The mentor can coax, persuade, cajole but must never coerce the mentee.

Honestly is always the best policy. Some things may have to be coated with some sugar and honey to sweeten them up, but never compromise the truth.

Being a mentor is a rewarding responsibility. Take your mentoring responsibilities seriously, and insist the mentee do likewise.

Do not hesitate to invite others to get involved in the mentoring relationship if you feel that it is in the best interests of the mentee. This step can be difficult for the mentor to take because it may admit to some weakness on his / her part. However, realizing when others can do a better job bringing is a hallmark of maturity.

Focus on the big picture and don’t worry about small things. Substance is important, style less so. Each person is unique, and the mentee’s individual style may need to be modified, but not suppressed.

The mentor should not look for immediate gratification in the mentoring relationship. The value of the lessons learned from the mentor may not become apparent to the mentee for months or even years later.

Mentoring -Are you willing to be a Mentor?

Mentoring is the art of helping others to develop their talents, aptitudes, and interpersonal skills and to reach their full human potential. Mentoring can take place in many settings, on the job, in school or college, in a club, within the community, in a social setting, and within a family.
A mentor is someone who resembles your vision of yourself in the future in some area. In common language, the person doing the helping is called the "mentor", while the person being helped is called the "mentee". However, this language hides the fact that mentoring is a mutually beneficial relationship - both mentor and mentee gain from their interaction. The characteristic of an effective mentor is that he/she is trusted and respected by the mentee.
Trust and respect create the foundation for open communication that is essential to a successful mentoring relationship.Other important characteristics of an effective mentor are:Self-awareness, knowing your own strengths and weaknesses.
Communication skills - a willingness to listen and an ability to communicate with the mentee.Openness to new ideas - Having a willingness to learn as well as teach.Patience. Perseverance. Honesty. Integrity. Commitment.A sense of fairness - observing & communicating both the positive & negative in a situation. Sensitivity to the mentee's strengths and weaknesses, intellectual and emotional development. An ability and willingness to work with the mentee on his/her challenges and needs.
For mentoring in work situations, the mentor may require technical knowledge (how to get the job done). This requirement will vary from need and requirement. In some instances it may be necessary for the mentor to teach skills to the mentee. If this is the situation, then the mentor must have the technical knowledge and the ability to communicate with the skills needed. In other circumstances, it may be sufficient for the mentor to know where and/or how the technical knowledge can be obtained.

Tip - This list of characteristics may seem to exclude many people from being a mentor. Not so! Awareness of the characteristics is more important than possessing them at the beginning of a mentoring relationship. Mentors can (and most probably will!) develop many characteristics while working with one or more mentees. We are all learning in life.

Establishing a Mentoring Relationship
Now that we have an individual who wants to grow as a person (mentee), and have selected a suitable mentor, (or mentors) the next stage is to establish a mentoring relationship.

While the mentoring relationship is an informal one, it is best to give it some structure.
There are three basic questions:
Where are we going, what is the desired goal?
Where are we now?
What do we need to do to get to the desired goal?

The mentor is best to lead a discussion with the mentee along the following lines:
What are the mentee’s desired goals?
What is the current situation?
What steps must the mentee take to reach his/her desired goal?
What resources for the goal are available to the mentee and mentor?
What resources need to be obtained from elsewhere?

Resources to be a better mentor include:
The mentor, Other mentors, Training Courses
The mentee (skills and aptitudes are identified through the personal profile).
Skilled professionals such as teachers, doctor and nurses.
Schools, colleges, universities, books, video and cassettes.
Parents, other relatives, colleagues, libraries and museums.
Government, government agencies, not-for-profit organizations, pastors, counselors & friends.

What Is Commitment

Does commitment come when you say you are committed? Does commitment come when you think you are committed? How do you know you are committed? Is it just a feeling or just something you decide?

I attended a wedding this weekend and allowed myself to dive into what commitment is for me. So I took a glance at my life. I have been married to my husband for 15 years next month. We have been together for 19+ years. There have been many times when I was ready to leave the marriage and I know that my husband has felt the same upon occasion. So how have we made it through the last 15+ years without walking away? How has commitment shown up? Besides the obvious we are still together it has taken many times of truly choosing and acting upon staying married. We have consciously made a choice everyday to remain married. When times have been hard and circumstances have been difficult we each have made the choice in the moment to work through what ever challenges have come to pass. We have loved and hated each other through the rough times and still remained committed.

I use to come from a place that if I could make my husband mad and he left me then he would leave me on my terms! I would challenge his love and faith by pissing him off so he would leave while I was in control. He would just tell me that he married me for life and he is not going anywhere so I might as well knock it of. Trust me I tested that also. I will give than a lot of credit when it comes to commitment. He has taught me great lessons. Now mind you my husband is not perfect. Oh and neither am I! Yet we remain married in spite of ourselves.

What actions have we taken to be committed to this marriage? We have given each other space when needed. The space to cool off and rethink our circumstance. We have looked at ourselves and how we have reacted to what ever has come before us. We have sought out counselors to get us through some of the really rough times. We have re-chosen to our marriage at least a million times and will continue to do so. Every five years we get married again. We send out invitation, have a vow exchange and renew our commitment to each other. People ask me why we renew our vows ever five years and I tell them this. When we first married I knew just enough about him and was willing to marry him for what I knew about him up to that point. Every time renew I am vowing to accept what I now know about him. As we grow together and learn more about each other we can now say that I will marry you for all the weaknesses and strengths that have come to surface in the last five years. It is an opportunity to heal from the challenges and reward ourselves for the successes. I now desire the long term commitment with my husband and I have stopped testing him on leaving me. I enjoy being around him more and love to go just about anywhere with him. Our commitment has not only grown our marriage it has continued to grow our business. We have been in business together for over 15 years and it has been the actions that we have taken that continues to keep that business moving forward.

Commitment without action is just like a hope, wish and want. It is something we desire yet are afraid or lazy to take action on. Just waiting for life to happen around us and hoping we will survive is not very rewarding.

Commitment with action is work and perseverance. You will usually learn a lot about yourself in the process and will most likely be rewarded for your courage to take it on. Actions can be big or small and still it is a step with forward momentum. Commitment with action has a lot to do with people following you as well. The saying “do as I say not as I do! “ Those are the words probably of a lazy, non action person. I have found that when I am acting on my commitments people want to do the same. I am a leader and a follower of greater leaders. So be a leader of excellence and keep acting on your strengths and challenging your weaknesses until they become strengths.

Mind you all action steps may not seem like successes. However if you are willing to really look at the ones that were not successful and learn the lesson they have to offer then you will find a small success there too.

What are you committed to take action on? What actions will you take for yourself? Whether it is a job, a relationship, a goal for yourself or a dream what will you take action on today? What will you end the day with? A notice of action or a day when you felt like you did not make much difference because you chose to just wait for life to happen or you took action to create your life? Which one will feel better for you? I am choosing to take my life to the next level and with that I will continue to take actions in life. My desire is that you will join me and create the life you desire and be committed to yourself by taking actions for you!

How Will You Celebrate Your Independence?

Is it time to accept freedom in your life...

Is your independence important to you?

Do you enjoy the freedom to speak what is on your mind?

Do you enjoy the freedom to choose your religion? Your Church?

How about the choice to join the military or work at a certain job?

How many children you choose to have?

How about the food you eat? And what you drink?

I have been to many places and have heard from others on how many areas the government decides how many kids you can have and what you can say. The kids at 16 (or younger) that automatically get put in the army to fight a war. I have been to places where the water is not good to drink and people have to fetch it and boil it before they can even taste it for their own safety. Where even in tragedy the government takes the food! Everyone must believe a certain way or they are killed. This is reality for some!

Today I say Celebrate! Celebrate that you live in an awesome country! I did not say a perfect country! Whether you like the government or not is up to you. And we as a nation have so much to be thankful for.

My question is what are you doing today or everyday to keep this country one of the best freedom places there is?

Are you reaching out to someone who is without food, clothing or shelter? Have you reached out to others and just offered your hand to help? Have you just listened as a friend spoke about a hard time? Have you reached out and given someone a much needed hug? Invited someone to join you at church? Have you accepted a hand out because someone cares? Have you reached for support because you are not alone in this world? Have you returned that phone call? Been that friend? Cared Enough?

I say as we celebrate this Independence Day we step up to our country! We act as if we are from the Home of the Brave and the Land of the Free and Be Brave and Free.

My challenge to you is to find and do 1 Random Act of Kindness A Day for 1 month! Are you up to the Challenge? Are you willing to Be the leader in a country that leads the way for so many other countries?

Enjoy your Independence and Celebrate with others and Enjoy Your Freedom!

Legacy Foundation Day

July's Legacy Foundation Recipeint is Kids Inspiring Kids.

Be A Legacy creates awareness with Legacy Foundation Day. It is an opportunity for you to receive a 30 minute coaching session for free. In turn, we ask you to make a contribution of $30.00 (or more, it's up to you) to the cause, organization, or individual we've chosen each month that we support because they are also making a huge difference in the world. We choose to model how simple it is to walk the talk, take a stand, and do something for another. And we invite you to join us.

Here's how it works.
• Every month we'll highlight on our blog the month's charitable focus.
• You complete the 'Give to Receive' form on the Be A Legacy website to request your 30-minute coaching session.
• After receiving your form, you will be contacted by one of our Be A Legacy coaches to schedule your session.
• Your session must be scheduled within one week of your request.
• After the session, please make your donation. Simple honor system applies.

Go to www.kidsinspire.com click on the donation page and make your donation to support kids in Africa.