Who Is Making Your Choices?

Every morning I get up and I am ready to jump into action. I get up and go about making today a better day than yesterday. I am not saying that it is always easy to look at life this way. I am saying that everyday I have a choice on how I want to look at the world. I choose everyday to make it better.

After being in business for over 16 years I have seen a lot of challenges. We have been through just about everything negative a business can go through. In one of my companies I recall when we sold it to a Fortune 500 company and then worked as local managers for them. Within one year they went bankrupt and we were faced with a choice. The choice of letting go and moving on without doing that work anymore or taking back our company in which we were not completely paid for. We made the choice to keep it and boy did we learn a lot from that. Ten years later we are still going in that business. Oh but be clear there have been some difficult choices in those ten years. Just this spring within a two month period we had a couple clients file bankruptcy. Between them, they owed us over $100,000.00. Because we are a service industry there is no product to take back, this was all for payroll that employees must be paid. We had a choice to say should we close the doors or what can we do different? Well, we are still doing different. Batten down the hatches and hold on tight!

Our lives are made up of many choices. Choices to change course, to let go, to hold on and leave the thoughts of failure behind! What are your choices? Can you enjoy your choices even when things get tough?

Who are the people that you bring into your life to help you get through it? Are you bringing problem solvers or problem makers into your life?

Do you have people who you can brainstorm with? Are there friends, family members or co-workers who are willing to remind you why you do what you do?

Who do you have that helps you set and achieve goals? Hold you accountable to what you say you want to achieve?

I would challenge you to make a list of all the people in your life you consider close to you. Next to their name put either the letters E & D. E is for the people who bring you energy and lift you up. D is for the people who are more often draining the energy from you. Then look to see who you spend the most time with. Do you want to shift where you spend your time? You do not have to do anything different! As long as you are aware of it you can make the choice to stay the same or do something different.

If you catch yourself in a rut, evaluate what is going on and ask what can I improve in this situation? Find the solutions to lift yourself up. I live with an attitude of today will be better than tomorrow. Here are a few of the attitudes that I choose in my life most.

Excellent Attitudes of Choice:

1. An Attitude of Solution.

Finding a solution to what is going on and not becoming a victim to it. If I am low on cash I find a solution to bring more money into my life. Ask myself what can I do to bring in more money. So what ever you are facing get support from people who can help you find solution.

2. An Attitude of Productivity.

There is a difference between busy work and productive work. I can look busy all the time! I am productive when I have the attitude of creating a forward moving result. Cleaning the house when I know my business is not producing would not be a smart choice for me. I can hire a house keeper when the money is flowing in. I can delegate some of the non essentials to others who love to do that and have a business for it. This leaves me the time and energy to be productive and do what I love to do. When you slack at your job or business it says that you have a habit of slacking. You are likely to get a slack pay for your job. Do your job with excellence and you will be rewarded. It may not be rewarded from the same place however.

3. An Attitude of Optimism.

You may not be able to choose all the circumstance in your life, you do have the choice on how you handle them. Refuse to be defeated by the circumstances. Look for that silver lining. What can I learn from this? How can I teach others to get through this? Instead of a “why me” choose a “why not me” attitude. Find something good in all your doing and hand on tight. You never know when this lesson will be pulled up to help someone else along the way. As a survivor of a rape, at the time did not see any benefit in it! Now I am grateful to be able to truly understand where a survivor comes from and can help them get through it too.

4. An Attitude of Improvement.

Look for ways to continuously improve your life. Find ways to make your life or the life of someone else better today than yesterday. No one ever said life would be easy! I have found that it is easier when I find ways to improve my relationships, improve my business, improve the knowledge of my kids and improve my attitude. If I were to stay the same as I was 20 years ago I would not be worth much to the people around me and yet at the same time I know that I must change me because no one else can change me and I can not change them either. What could you improve in your life today? Take baby steps and improve a little at a time.


Remember, you have the choice to do what you want in life. Not all choices are easy and not all choices are hard. Keep moving forward and know that there are people in the world looking to help you along the way. Go find those people and allow them to keep you energetic and you will be able to return the favor.

Are You Solution Oriented?

Regardless of what we do for a living or where we live, most of us spend our waking hours at home or at work solving problems. Many of the problems we face are small, however, some may be large and complex and feel overwhelming. Anyway you look at it, problems are being solved daily.

So how do you decide when something is a problem? And how you handle it?

If my boss or upline asks me to take care of something my internal voice might say “I don’t know how to go about doing this” or “I can’t do that”. My external words say, “okay, I will let you know when this is done” or “when do you want this done by”.

There are times when moments come, and everything just goes wrong. We are now challenged to get what is not working properly, fixed. Life’s problems do not exist to beat us down. They exist to help us grow in who we are meant to become.

Let’s explore some of the problems that you may have been challenged with recently.

Why does it have to be hard to make money? I don’t understand how I can get out of debt when I can barely make my bills.

Why can’t I find a job that I love to do? I don’t even know what I love to do. So how am I supposed to find the right job?

Why doesn’t my team follow through with what I tell them to do? Don’t they understand, I know what success looks like?

Why do I keep ending up in short-term relationships? Isn’t anyone committed anymore?

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I almost never use the word "problem" because most people hear drama with a problem. I don't know about you but all I have to do to see drama is turn on the TV to see a reality show, the news coverage or the old favorites a soap opera.

I look at the challenge before me and say okay, what do I have to take action on to make this work. This mindset has allowed me to find solutions instead of feeling sorry for myself with the situation. Since I cannot change what happened, I can change how I react to it. Now trust me, I have not always been this way. I could get caught up in the problem with the best of them! So how did I make the shift to see problems as challenges and opportunities for improvement in my life? Let me share with you a couple of things that I did to change how I reacted and took action on finding the opportunity in the challenge is I’m faced with.

First thing I do, is stop and take a deep breath. I look to see how this challenge affects me personally, my family, my business and my lifestyle. I looked to see who is involved. Who will benefit from this challenge being solved? Why is that important? This allows me to focus on what the issue is, instead of running, kicking, screaming or blaming someone else. Stopping to take a breath allows me to bring my emotions down so my brain can go to work. When emotions are high, intelligence is low. So, breathing can allow you to bring down the emotion level to build up the intelligence.

Next, I look to see how soon I have to make a decision with this challenge. I ask myself if I have the flexibility to gather more information, or does a decision need to be made immediately. If I have some flexibility I will research, ask for support and see how I can shift whatever is necessary to solve the challenge before me. Asking myself questions like “What do I want the outcome to be? And why is that important?” will allow me to brainstorm for the best choices available. If a decision must be made quickly, my focus must be in full gear to make it happen, which usually means take another deep breath.

Then, I look at the cause of the challenge to identify what may have contributed in creating the challenge. A brief glance to learn what to do differently, without getting stuck in the past. This allows me to determine the root of what caused the challenge. Why this happened or what got me in this situation to begin with. This is where I may get support from friends, family, coworkers or a boss to brainstorm on what may have caused this to prevent it from happening again in the future.

Finally, I decide what I need to take action on now to correct or solve the challenge. This is the opportunity for me to do something different and create a better outcome. What is my objective? What is the outcome I am looking to create? What systems do I have to put into place to prevent this from happening again in the future? What action can I take today that will bring me closer to the result I am looking for? Who will I ask to hold me accountable, to taking the necessary actions to solve this challenge?

What I have discovered as the biggest benefit to solving problems or challenges is my attitude. If my attitude is a “why me” attitude I am not likely to get very far. If my attitude is a “why not me” attitude, I am likely to move forward faster than getting stuck in the drama.

Challenges are not meant to be roadblocks, annoyance is or irritations. They really just are life happening before us. Imagine for a moment, a life where there were no problems to solve, no opportunity for growth, and no reason to invite other people into your life to help you solve the challenges you face. Who would be the people that you would have never wanted to meet, because without your challenge, you never would have met them? Now imagine a life of many opportunities, everyday growth, and all the people that you have met along the way to solving your challenges.

I know that facing these challenges can be difficult, may feel lonely and sometimes overwhelming. And at this point, I have to discover my courage to step up and asked for support. This is where I get to adjust my attitude, be stronger and more effective at communicating with myself and others.

I look at challenges and opportunities as personal training exercises. I get to exercise my skill to be stronger, more productive which become easier over time to recover from. At first your workout may appear hard, tiring and stressful. However, over time, you become stronger, smarter and recover quicker from these opportunities. So have some fun and stretch yourself to be solution oriented and have a “can do” attitude to be successful. And don’t forget to ask for help along the way. As a coach, I am your spotter to keep you safe and moving forward in your challenges and turning them into opportunities. Let me know how I can support you.